Questions? Answers? Some never go away
By Michael Greene -- Furniture Today, February 17, 2002
Our society has a habit of going through phases and phrases of language that have one-sentence answers to everything that goes farfloofkie. By farflookie I mean up the creek.
For the longest time, our young 'uns had standard, compact answers that encompassed all kinds of sorry situations. To wit: "Sorry about that."
Which, when interpreted properly, covered every kind of boo-boo from forgetting an appointment to forgetting a message to forgetting a promise to everything else stretching from the missing spoon for the coffee to the invisible ketchup bottle.
And the aggravating thing about the whole scenario was that the actors weren't sorry for anything.
Then there was the "humongous" phase. Everything was classified as humongous, from sizes of biceps to stadiums to homework to SUVs to screaming madness that cheered on "musicians" who smashed their guitars on a humongous stage containing a mere five persons, whose hair colors matched the humongous streams of color that flashed across the humongous arena.
Wow-e-e! That was really humongous.
And now there's a subtle new phase, seen especially on sedate news programs featuring reporters and commentators. One occupant of the boob screen asks the other occupant a question, and instead of a forthright answer the other occupant on the screen answers: "That's a good question!"
W-e-l-l, we eager observers know that it's a good question because we've been asking the same question, mentally.
But exactly who's got the "good" answer? That's the question!
And now we've also got the granddaddy of them all, an abbreviated statement that dares to look like an answer but instead stops all questions. What is it? That's a good question. It's an "HMO." Is that an answer? Nope. That's the question.
All of which brings me to the ultimate, perennial questions that continue to plague our industry in its search for fresh answers, brave undertakings, believable presentations and that great no-no, fair profits for a hard day's work.
What are the age-old retail questions hidden in the mindsets of the answer-ers?
"It looks like great stuff but my customer never asked me for it."
"Who else has it?"
"My customer will never spend the money."
"I like it but I have so-o-o much stuff that doesn't move."
"My crew will never sell it."
Thanks, again, for listening.
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