'Realistic' ways to solve our image problems (?)
Ray Allegrezza, Editor in chief -- Furniture Today, February 8, 2004
If you're in the furniture business, you know we've got an issue with our image. Let's be honest: When consumers compare retail salespeople to pit bulls and swear they would rather have a root canal than shop for furniture, it's time to make changes.
Not that we haven't tried. We've spent years struggling to enhance our industry's visibility and image. But the sad truth is that we are no closer today to finding solutions than we were 50 years ago.
Until now, that is.
I don't mean to be smug, but I've got it all figured out. Forget a national campaign. Deep six the search for a cute, catchy industry slogan. Disband the Blue Ribbon Committee.
What we need is our own reality TV show. Think about it: If "American Idol" can make an overnight phenom of Clay Aiken, it can work for us.
Laugh all you want, but each week, millions of consumers are glued to their TV sets watching the likes of "American Idol," "Survivor," "The Apprentice," "The Bachelor," "Average Joe," "Fear Factor," "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?" "Real World Las Vegas," "Battle of the Sexes," "Boy Meets Boy" and scores of other so-called reality shows.
And it seems like the list grows longer each week. The latest show — and the one that gave me the idea — is one called "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancée."
If the networks can rivet people to TV screens and smile all the way to the bank, why can't we? I've sent my ideas for furniture-themed reality shows to a few power producers at the networks, and they loved them. So, be prepared for the rollout of great new reality segments such as:
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"Who Wants To Marry a Furniture Retailer?" Six contestants vie to win the heart — and buyer credentials — from some of America's most successful furniture retailers.
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"Furniture Fear Factor." Half a dozen shoppers are forced to spend 10 hours in a furniture store with an ill-informed, ultra-high-pressure salesperson.
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"American Idle." Five college kids majoring in economics are locked in a furniture factory and have to find where all the workers went.
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"Survivor," a companion show to "American Idle." Producers loved the "American Idle" idea but told me they are debating whether to shoot the show in North Carolina or China.
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And last, but not least, "Jackass," the show that pits a shopper's willpower against those wild and wacky no-no-no sales.
On second thought, maybe these shows are a bit too real even for reality TV. If so, you've got an obligation to make sure these shows are tuned out before consumers get a chance to tune in.
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