Jim Calhoun publishes book for caregivers
Former Norwalk executive shares experiences, advice
Gary Evans -- Furniture Today, March 6, 2009
ATLANTA — Industry veteran Jim Calhoun has had a long career developing and merchandising upholstery for the former Norwalk Furniture and as a consultant to manufacturers and retailers.
Few of his colleagues know, however, that during the past 20 years, he's also helped provide care for five family members -- most recently his sister, who died last year of Huntington's disease. Those who did know about this involvement were often friends who came to him for help in similar circumstances.
Calhoun responded with calls and e-mails detailing ideas, resources and experiences, and let it go at that.
But that changed on the day after Christmas in 2000. Calhoun was taking his traditional vacation at the beach when something told him his experience and knowledge were bigger than a few e-mails and verbal advice.
"I did not wake to a small voice but to a booming one, suggesting I write down what Mom and I had learned as we cared for five family members over the course of the last 20 years," Calhoun said.
The result is a new book, "Lessons from the Ancients: A Humorously Helpful Guide for Caregiving," published by Tate Publishing and Enterprises.
The 155-page book took only a month to write.
"It kind of wrote itself," said Calhoun. "They say you write best about what you know best. Through all these years and what I've learned, it was more of a challenge to write fast enough to keep up with all of the information in my head."
Caregivers often have a feeling of being overwhelmed and lost. In his book Calhoun walks readers through the practical side of caregiving - including legal, financial, medical and psychological issues - and balances this information with inspiring and humorous stories about caregivers and receivers.
"It was clear to me that many people could find comfort in the community of other caregivers they probably did not know existed, could find some of the information we had discovered useful and could maybe find inspiration from the silly and insightful stories collected along the way," he said.
Calhoun, an English and psychology major in college, searched the Internet to find a publisher, who loved the book and quickly sent Calhoun a contract.
"I was blessed and glad not to have had the long submission-and-rejection process I hear is typical," he said.
In his research, Calhoun discovered there are about 50 million Americans caring for family and friends. Add in the professional community, and a quarter of the population in involved in some way with taking care of others.
"It means that we do care about those who have challenges," said Calhoun.
Still, most cultures around the world have a better track record than Americans in caring for the sick and elderly.
"It's been, ‘Put the old folks away and go on with your life,' " Calhoun said. That's finally changing. I've got to say I'm impressed with what I see with the Boomers. They're not so hands-off. They're actually embracing it and trying to do a good job."
By coincidence, Calhoun, who lives in Atlanta, was jogging in a park when a reporter from WABE, the local National Public Radio station, was researching a story about runners listening to iPods while they exercise. Calhoun told the reporter that after being attached to a cell phone and computer all day, he enjoyed the quiet and didn't use one.
When the interview was over, Calhoun mentioned his book. One thing led to another until he ended up doing an interview with editor Steve Goss, who was caring for his parents in New Jersey.
The response to his book "has been wonderful," Calhoun said, noting that people like the practical help it gives them but also the emotional support. Because of that, he's considering doing a sequel.
"That would be mostly (other people's) stories," he said. "People want to hear and share their stories. They read this book and say, ‘Let me tell you what happened to me.'"
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