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Dear Abby Misses Mattress With Answer to Sleepless Wife

David Perry -- Furniture Today, October 11, 2011

David Perry Executive EditorDear Abby: You blew it. You missed the boat - and the mattress - with your answer to Needs My Space, who wants to leave the marital bed because her husband invades her side of the mattress. You should have introduced what might be an easy solution to this problem: A larger bed.
     A brief recap for those who missed that recent Dear Abby exchange: Needs My Space in West Valley, Utah, wrote that she enjoys "an amazing, caring, fun relationship" with her husband, "but when it comes to sleep, I need my space while he prefers to cuddle all night. I always end up trying to push him over to his side, or telling him to please move over. I know he gets offended because he's just trying to be close."
     Needs My Space said she winds up sleeping on the couch. "Is this a bad sign for our marriage?" she asked. "Should I just stick it out for his sake?"
     Abby's answer was that the two need to have a calm discussion about this issue when both are wide awake. She correctly notes that sleep deprivation can cause problems ranging from slow reaction times while driving to inefficiency at work to serious health problems.
     She ends with these words of wisdom: "If your marriage is amazing, caring, fun and sexually satisfying for both of you, then sleeping separately isn't a ‘bad sign.' It's the solution."
     Unfortunately, Dear Abby didn't even consider the size of the couple's bed, and that's something that must be considered when couples are looking for more room in bed.
     If Needs My Space and her husband are sleeping on a full-sized mattress, they are fighting for room on a 53-inch wide sleep surface - about as much room as two crib mattresses. And that's not nearly enough.
     A queen-sized sleep set is 60 inches, which is room for many couples to coexist happily. If not, a king-sized sleep set provides 76 inches of width or 38 inches per person, the same width as a twin-sized mattress.
     Dear Abby is not helping couples when she quickly gives them permission to seek out separate beds. The size of the mattress must be part of the discussion for couples who seek accommodation in their sleep habits. It's a bad sign for the mattress industry that Dear Abby didn't even think of bringing mattress size into the equation.
     And I can't help but offer Dear Dave's advice to Needs My Space: Why are you complaining about a man who wants to cuddle? Your husband is one in a hundred. You are lucky, lady. Get a bigger bed and have a great life.

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