DEFINING SUCCESS

Winning is everything. Don’t be a failure. Get all you can. More money means more happiness. These are the messages we hear daily, and they epitomize how our society defines success. The incredible pressure to “succeed” can be overwhelming. However, you should never let others define success for you. Leaders need to decide for themselves what constitutes a successful life.

When it comes to defining success, one size does not fit all. Society tends to characterize it in terms of money, trappings and position. While these may be nice to have they by no means define a successful life. Success, like happiness, is not about a singular event; rather, it is a way of life. Each of us is the product of a unique set of genes and circumstances. These along with the choices we make are what determine our success - not how others define theirs or perceive ours.

This can be an extremely hard lesson to learn. It was for me. If leaders are unnecessarily influenced by the behavior of others then they are susceptible to losing their bearings. We must resist making the assumption that if someone is richer, more powerful or has more things that they are a success and that we should emulate them. We do not know how this person went about acquiring what they have. Was it luck? Were they born to it? Did they cheat? Did they work hard and with integrity? What about the parts of their life we don’t see? Everything may appear to be grand but this in no way means they consider themselves a success - and this is what really matters. It is why success is so personal.

Each of us has an obligation to ourselves to define our own success. Nobody can do it for us. Success is a function of where we’ve been, what we’ve done, whom we love, what we enjoy, how we treat others and how we handle our demons. Success is more than a series of goals achieved. Success is about how we live. There is a world of difference between a successful achievement and a successful life. One is fleeting and one is enduring. It is the latter that matters most as so many of our days are spent without the high of momentary success.

Success is about choices made. The greatest gift, and with it the greatest responsibility, ever given us is the gift of choice. How we choose and prioritize determines how successful and ultimately how happy we are. As events change and calamities strike the choices we make govern how successful we are. Do we crumble? Do we persevere? Do we learn? It is up to us.

How we deal with our own unique set of experiences determines how successful we are. Nobody else knows what we have experienced, what we have endured and what we have overcome - only us. It is only with this knowledge and our own honest assessment that success can be defined. Ignore the big homes, fancy clothes and exotic cars. Look inside yourself, assess your life and be comfortable with what you find. Only then will you know that you are one of the lucky ones who have found success.