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Jim Green

Familiarity and Contempt

This falls under the heading of Pet Peeves. I’m not a particularly formal kind of guy. I don’t generally stand on ceremony. When I enter a retail store, any retail store, I don’t expect the sales person to grovel at my feet, genuflect, or fawn all over me. A simple polite greeting will do just fine.

I visited an electronics store recently, part of a large national chain of stores. I was in the market for several flat screen televisions. A young sales clerk, about 20 years old, approached me (fine so far), exhibited a beaming smile (which appeared sincere), and said, “Hi. How can we help you, Young Man”? SCREECH! Aside from the obvious error in the greeting (How can we help you”, which all but begs for the answer, “No, thank you. I’m just looking.”) here was a 20-year-old kid addressing a prospective customer that was three times his age by calling him, “Young Man.”

Sorry to those out there that read this and may be thinking, “this guy’s so stiff, get a life”, but I was offended. I felt that it was condescending, disrespectful and not at all cute or funny. It caused me to consider visiting another store that offered the same products but perhaps treat their customers with a bit more respect. It doesn’t matter that the respect might stem from that store wanting to get hold of the money I had in my pocket intended to be used for buying the TV’s I was shopping for. At the very least, I was about to find another salesperson.

Not being a particularly shy individual, I decided instead to vocalize to this youngster what I thought his transgression had been and exactly how I felt about it. I calmly, politely, but firmly told him that I was probably three times his age (actually, right on the button) and that he is making a big personal and sales mistake by addressing me in such a familiar way. I explained that I was, indeed offended by it and that if he had a problem with calling a customer ‘Sir’ or ‘Maam’ perhaps he should just not call them anything at all (certainly not a great solution, but better than offending a customer). I went on to explain that there is no one on the planet that would be offended by being called ‘Sir’ (assuming the customer is a male), but gracious plenty that would be put off by being called ‘Young Man’, ‘Bud’, ‘Buddy’, or ‘Dude’, all of which I have been addressed as by sales clerks half my age or less.

Then the sales person did something quite unexpected and rare. He thanked me. He was apologetic, contrite, and said he appreciated that I spoke up. He seemed genuinely thankful that I called him on it and that he had learned a great lesson that day. PS, he sold four flat screen TV’s to a rather surprised but pleased customer.

When did the lack of formality come along? At what point did restaurant servers determine that it was quite alright to actually sit down next to patrons and address them as ‘Guys’, diners 20, 30, 40, even 50 years older than they? I am sure this sounds, staid, but again, from a practical standpoint, a salesperson should be aware that addressing a customer in such a familiar fashion, even using a customer’s first name can and often does breed contempt while calling them ‘Sir’, ‘Maam’, ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs.’ never would.

The point, I think is clear. Greeting a customer respectfully can and should be trained by the company (actually, should have been trained by the parents). Management may assume that their people know better. Clearly, some don’t.  Maybe they haven’t considered the matter at all.

The reality is that I can’t think of an easier concept to train. How many sales have been soured at the approach stage, sales that might have been made were it not for a too-familiar employee? And, chances are no one in management will ever know that these sales were lost and why. Simple courtesy and exhibiting a little respect. Easy to teach and a valuable lesson to learn, both for the store and the employee.